Using all the titles Season one
by provencepuss
Summary: This was a kind of challenge on a group site....the story is silly but I had fun. Seasons 2,3,&4 to follow the loss of chapter divisions when uploading was beyond my control. Sorry for the inconvenience


**Titles challenge**

_STARSKY AND HUTCH_watched as a plane did loop the loops above their heads. _THE PILOT_ was a real expert and they were both really impressed. "I'm glad I'm not up there with him;" Starsky said and Hutch chuckled knowing how much his best friend hated being in a plane – even a big airliner gave him the heebie-jeebies; Starsky hated heights, period! They'd spent the evening in a new disco called the _SAVAGE SUNDAY _and somewhere along the line they'd gotten involved in a crazy kind of dare game with their friends. Starsky lost and now they were at an amusement park standing in line for the _DEATH RIDE._ The deal was that they took the ride and Hutch got photos to prove that Starsky was up there.

They stood and waited for their turn. Starsky was trying to distract himself by running through his well-known repertory of corny jokes. "Hey Hutch, what do you call a guy near an oil well playing a Swiss musical instrument?" Hutch stared at him. "Starsky, give me a break here willya?"

"Nope, if I have to go up on this thing, you have to listen to my jokes. So can you guess the answer?"

Hutch sighed. He knew that Starsky loved the triumph of telling him the answers so he shook his head. "No Starsk, I give up. What _do _you call a guy near an oil well playing a Swiss musical instrument?"

"_TEXAS LONG HORN!_" Starsky giggled like a kid.

Fifteen minutes later Starsky was still slightly green around the gills and Hutch was leading him to a bench to recover. "I tell you something Hutch; I'd rather go skiing in a _SNOW STORM_ than go on a thing like that again!"

"Have you ever skied in a snow storm Starsk?"

"No but I tried skiing with you last year, and I've been caught in snow storms before and believe me…."

Hutch loved the way his partner's mind worked sometimes…quirky but always some strange logic at the end.

They went back to the car and Starsky started to head for The Pits. Hutch had bought one of the new Polaroid cameras and they couldn't wait to show Huggy the instant photos to prove that Starsky had honored the dare. "Not that I want my prize right now," he said ruefully, "in fact I'm not sure I want to eat again until tomorrow!"

The radio interrupted them and Hutch answered; they were being called back to Metro PDQ, Dobey needed them to work on a new case.

Starsky had taken up his usual pose half suspended between the coat rack and the door handle. Nobody had ever figure out why he chose to stand in Dobey's office like that – but then nobody had ever asked him either.

"We've been informed of a threat against the Governor when he comes to visit the city tomorrow. I want you two to find out who's behind this and deal with it. If you don't then you'll have to protect him tomorrow and I know how much you love babysitting jobs!"

The governor had a mixed reputation in the state, some thought he was too liberal and some of the San Francisco community didn't think he was left enough. As far as Starsky and Hutch were concerned he was OK, and a definite improvement on the last incumbent, a B-movie actor with high ambitions.

Starsky asked "what do we have to go on?"

"This." Dobey held up a sheet of paper with a message written in letters cut out of newspapers and magazines.

"Oh boy," said Hutch, "another crazy!"

Starsky stepped away from his perch and took the sheet of paper. "_DEATH NOTICE_" he read, "I hereby announce and proclaim that the Governor of California will b e dead before the end of tomorrow." At the bottom of the page Starsky noticed that the author of this warning had cut out the dateline from a newspaper and the date was today.

"Ok Hutch where do we start?"

"I don't know."

Starsky sat on his chair and put his elbow on the desk; he rested his cheek on his hand and looked at his partner for a moment.

"What kind of nut writes these things Hutch? I mean do we really take it seriously?"

"Looks like the department and the Governor's office already did Starsk."

"Hmmm. So what do we have here?"

Hutch leaned back. "This kind of thing is often the work of a social _PARIAH_ the kind of guy who thinks he has been cut off from society and wants to take revenge on it. A governor is a good target._"_

"Well that narrows the field to about a quarter of the population of this city!" Starsky said with a grin. "On our patch anyway; I mean look at all the wackos we have to deal with! Hey wait a minute; give me the page again."

Starsky took I t and stared at it for a while. "Hutch, you remember a few months ago there was that nut who was threatening to _KILL HUGGY BEAR_? He was leaving notes in The Pits; and they were made of cut out letters, remember?"

"Starsky hundreds of nuts do that."

"Yes but not all of them use a bible to do it."

Hutch stood up and came round to look over his partner's shoulder. He looked closely at the letters and smiled. "Starsky I think you're onto something."

"Me too. You see how the paper is so thin you can see the glue traces?"

"I thought Henry was back in the asylum after that little episode."

"Maybe he got out again; I mean all he had to do was give that dumb-ass shrink the right answers to his questions." Starsky's disdain for the chief psychiatrist at the asylum in question had never been lessened since the man had released a known killer because his ink-blot test came out OK.

"So what do we use as _THE BAIT_ to catch out fish this time?"

"Let's go and have a beer and think about it."

Huggy had installed a piano in The Pits in the hope of attracting a better kind of client. So far it hadn't made any difference at all. The new singer was tinkling the ivories and singing her own version of the old hit _LADY BLUE_ although it would have taken a trained ear to know it!

The two cops settled in a booth as far away from the warbler as possible and asked Huggy to bring them a jug of beer. They started to go over their plans. They were wondering whether to order another jug when the beeper in Starsky's pocket staring shrilling for attention. Calling to Huggy to put the beer on their tab, they ran out of the back to the car parked in the alley.

"Zebra Three to control." Hutch called them in.

"Hutch, this is Dobey. I think I have a new lead for you. It seems Hell-raising Henry was seen over near the hotel that the Governor is going to be staying in tomorrow. I just wondered if…."

"CAPTAIN DOBEY….YOU'RE DEAD on target with that; we were thinking about Henry as a possible. We're on our way."

The Torino raced through the crowded street heading up to the port area where they knew Henry hung out. Starsky cursed the mild-day traffic and suddenly hung a screeching right turn that sent Hutch slamming against the door. "Hey I get more bruises from your driving that from the bad guys!"

"Buckle up and shut up then!"

Starsky followed his short cut and sped up to one of the piers before taking another turn with a squeal of tires. Stevedores and longshoremen jumped aside as the siren wailed spreading a kind of panic and _TERROR ON THE DOCKS_; Starsky grinned to see the chaos he was causing.

They finally arrived at Henry's dump of an apartment and Hutch ran up the stairs while Starsky slipped around to cover the fire-exit. The two of them made their separate ways to the fourth floor where Henry lived. Starsky wiped at the grime on a window and froze. He understood Henry's plan. Henry was about the same height and weight as the city Mayor and he was standing in front of his bathroom mirror carefully dying his hair; he already had a false mustache that made him an almost perfect _DEADLY IMPOSTER_ who would be able to get close enough to the Governor. Starsky waited. He heard Hutch knock at the apartment door and he saw Henry pick up a gun before walking into the main room. Starsky didn't hesitate; he had no intention of letting Hutch walk into a trap. The window latch was open and he slid up the lower pane and climbed into the bathroom.

Henry opened the door enough to see that Hutch was outside. He slammed it and aimed his gun ready to fire if Hutch forced his way in. Starsky raised his pistol and held it steady.

"Freeze!" Henry turned and fired and Starsky returned the compliment. Hutch rushed into the room at the same time and Henry swung around firing wildly in all directions. Starsky took careful aim and shot him in the leg. Henry screamed and dropped to the floor and _THE SHOOT OUT_ was over.

Hutch called for back up and when all the details had been dealt with the two cops went back to The Pits for a well-earned beer and something to eat.

Many times over the years that he'd known him Hutch had laughed at Starsky's attitude to the TV and movie cops who seemed to solve three or four cases at once and be home in time for dinner. But joking apart there were times when their lives really did seem that action-packed.

The next day the Governor was due to arrive in the city and although the death threat appeared to have been dealt with the Police Commissioner wasn't taking any chances. He had all the force on duty – and it turned out he was right. Henry wasn't the only one to want to get to the Governor during this visit.

It seemed to be the fashion right now to join way-out 'revolutionary' groups. There were the Black Panthers and the Weather Men and the PLO and the SLA. The SLA operated almost entirely in California and no-one really knew what they wanted. They had recently kidnapped a wealthy heiress and all the state was on alert. Starsky and Hutch were driving into the Downtown section to take up their position as one of the cars protecting the Governor when they noticed a black panel truck parked opposite a bank. Starsky nodded to Hutch and slowed down so that his partner could try to see into the bank. "I think we'd better take a better look Starsk. Today's paycheck day and the bank looks empty to me."

Starsky slid the Torino into a space a block further up the street and the two of the started to saunter back to the bank. Just another couple of working guys going to cash their pay checks.

Hutch walked in first. The other customers were all grouped over in the waiting area and someone was holding a gun on them. Hutch couldn't be sure if this person was male or female; but he could be sure about the gun; it was one of the new lightweight machine guns that terrorists and a few foreign armies used. He held up his hands and smiled.

Starsky was waiting in the lobby. He saw Hutch raise his hands and slipped back to the sidewalk. He spotted a 'phone booth across the way and ran over to it. He breathed a prayer of thanks that the phone book was in one piece. Quickly he ran his finger down the columns until he found the bank's number. He slipped in his dime and dialed.

"Oh Hi, I just wondered what time you close today?"

The woman at the other end of the 'phone sounded scared; Starsky took the risk that she wasn't one of the gang.

"I'm a cop, is the bank being held up?"

"Yes that's right sir." She made it sound like she was answering a client."

"How many in the gang."

"Five o'clock sir."

"And what about the rest of you, is anyone hurt?"

"No that will be just fine sir, any time."

"Try to keep them calm – I'm going to organize back up. Can you see the big blond guy who just came in?"

"Absolutely sir, no need to worry about that."

"He's my partner; if anything happens do what he says.

"I'll do my….." The line went dead and Starsky prayed that whoever had cut him off hadn't heard the conversation. He ran back to the Torino and radioed in for help.

He told Mildred the details and added "you'd better make it a code two; we don't want them to panic." He walked back to the bank to see if he could get a better view of what was happening. Then he strolled over to the black truck to see if that held any cues. There was no-one inside but there was a big SLA sticker on the dashboard. He sighed and waited.

One after another black and white patrol cars arrived in silence. An ambulance joined them and finally Dobey arrived. He went straight over to Starsky.

"What do we have?"

"It's the SLA. So far no-one has gone in and no-one has come out. The last person in was Hutch. No shots, no sign of trouble. I managed to speak to a teller by 'phone, there are five of them on there." Dobey started to give his men their instructions, and sent one of them to make sure nobdy tried to use the 'phone booth across the way. He handed Starsky the bull-horn.

"This is the police. I need someone to talk to – either come out here with your hands up or call this number." He gave the number that he had noted in the 'phone booth.

He held his breath. He was thinking about the way these people operated; they hadn't hesitated to kill before and they would do so again. He hoped that they didn't get a make on Hutch.

They waited for over an hour before someone moved towards the door of the bank. Hutch walked out with his hands on his head followed by a slender figure carrying a machine gun. "Don't try anything dumb or the blond gets it!" It was a woman's voice and to the sound of things she wasn't your average gangster from the projects either.

Starsky stepped forward.

"I'm detective Starsky. If you all leave now there will be less trouble."

"We don't care about the bank, cop! We want our demands to be met."

"Your demands?" Starsky's voice had an edge that Dobey and Hutch recognized as a signal of danger. He was coming to the limits of his patience with these people.

"We demand that all political prisoners be released from California's jails. If not we start killing _THE HOSTAGES_ one every half hour until the Governor agrees."

Starsky showed a thin-lipped smile.

"I'll ask what he thinks."

"You do that cop; and this pretty blond guy gets to keep his head. You have twenty minutes then…." She held the machine gun up to the level of Hutch's head. Starsky knew exactly what damage that thing could do and he had no intention of letting Hutch find out the hard way.

He had a quick conference with Dobey and it was decided to go in.

Starsky stepped to the middle of the road. "I have an answer but I don't want to shout it from here. I'm coming over." He held his hands high and walked steadily towards Hutch. Their eyes met and held a rapid conversation. As Starsky came alongside his partner Hutch turned and kicked high sending the Lachine gun flying. A uniformed cop ran over to grab the young woman before she could get away. Starsky and Hutch drew their guns and ran to the back of the building. By some freak of luck the back entrance wasn't locked, "maybe that's how they got in?" Starsky said. They opened the door carefully, the usual formation: Hutch high and Starsky low his legs braced to lunge if he had to. The back office was empty. Starsky ran over to the door and opened it a crack then closed it silently.

"One with his back to me. Two facing the hostages. I think we can do this."

"Wait a minute. That's four and the teller said five."

Starsky opened the door again.

"Fifth one is watching the door but he obviously can't see the street"

"No it's that smoked glass – you can't see in easily and you can't see out."

"Lucky for us!"

Hutch stood alongside Starsky and they opened the door. The first man went down to a blow on the head with the butt Hutch's Magnum. Starsky slipped out of the room and Hutch followed. Starsky dealt with the second gang member by putting a stranglehold on him until he dropped his weapon; Starsky shoved him into the office to join his two colleagues that Hutch had dispatched there. Starsky then stepped over to the lookout while Hutch took aim at the final gang member. In unison they said "Police; drop your weapons." And to everyone's amazement the two armed men did as they were told.

As they led their prisoners out of the bank Starsky said to one of them "Gee it looks like the SLA is on a _LOSING STREAK_ today. The gang members allowed themselves to be pushed into the waiting patrol cars in _SILENCE. _

The Governor's visit went off without any more problems and Starsky and Hutch started to make plans for their weekend off duty.

"There's this great movie I want to see Hutch." Starsky was as enthusiastic as a kid and Hutch had a feeling that the movie was not likely to be playing in any movie theater he preferred to go to.

"Ok, what's it called?" He crossed his fingers that Godzilla was not involved!

"It's called _THE OMAHA TIGER_ and _JO-JO_ "

"Huh?"

"It's a cute story about a kid who rescues a tiger from a circus; aw come on Hutch; it's got that pretty blonde actress you liked in that movie we saw last week."

Hutch agreed but on one condition. "If I go to the movie with you, you come _RUNNING_ with me tomorrow in the park.

"No problem!"

The movie was cute and even Hutch had to admit that it brought tears to his eyes. He loved the way his tough partner could be such a sucker for a movie like this.

They drove back to the house on Ridgeway that Starsky rented and as Starsky was about to park the car Hutch noticed something at the bottom of the steps leading to the front door.

They walked over to see that it was _A COFFIN_ and someone had left a note on it: _FOR STARSKY_

Starsky stepped back as if he'd been hit. "What does it mean Hutch? Who wants to kill me now?"

Hutch was looking at something lying on the ground beside the coffin. "Look Starsky, who do we know who wears scarves like this?"

They exchanged glances and Starsky said softly "Lola Turkel; _THE BOUNTY HUNTER_"

_**End of season one**_


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